Selected AsliMasti Jokes
Mum, are the Smiths very poor people? I don't think so, Jimmy. Why do you ask?
Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin
Laloo is convicted in the fodder case and the courts decide that all his
property belongs to the state. He is left with nothing and is going around
looking for a job.
Eureka Forbes (the vacuum cleaner company) gives him a job as
a vacuum cleaner saleman. Laloo decides to do well on his first day itself.
goes to the first house in his territory. He knocks, a lady opens the door, and
before she has a chance to say anything, Laloo runs inside and dumps gobar (cow
dung) all over the floor and the sofa.
He says, 'Lady, if this vacuum cleaner
don't do wonders cleaning up that gobar right now, I'll eat every chunk of it.'
She replies, 'You want salt and pepper on that? We just moved in and we haven't
got the electricity turned on yet.'
Teacher:Arun tell your father's name in English. Arun:Madam, my father's name is
Mr. Butter Red Government.
Teacher: Stupid are you making fun with me? Arun: No,
Madam You told me to tell my father's name in English and my father's name in
Hindi is Makkhan Lal Sarkar.
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my
time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped
his toothbrush in the toilet.
So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.
Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out
with my toothbrush.
He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We
better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the
ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing.
Clouds of dirt
and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golf ball. It sat in
the same spot. So he lined up and tried another shot.
Clouds of dirt and sand
and ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle. Two ants survived.
One dazed ant said to the other, "Whoa!
What are we going to do?" Said the other
ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball."
minister asked. "Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if
it's insignificant," replied the lawyer. "What do you do?" The minister replied,
"Oh, more or less the same.
Let me give you an example. The other day I meant to
say 'the devil is the father of liars,' but instead I said 'the devil is the
father of lawyers,' so I let it go."
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect
mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst
company. He must be musical.
Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!" A
cynical male listener overheard and spoke up, "Lady, what you really want is a
A tourist goes to Africa and asks his guide while walking in the jungle, "Are we
safe here? Aren't there cannibals around here?"
And the tourist guide says,
"Yes. You can be sure there are no cannibals in Africa." And the tourist says,
"But there may be still some cannibals."
And the tourist guide says, "No, rest
assured. We ate the last one last Monday."
An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question,
"Have you ever been arrested?" he wrote, "No."
The next question, intended for
people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was "Why?"
The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."
- AsliMasti Jokes Archive
TO HUMOR PAGE