Selected AsliMasti Jokes
A Hindi teacher asked his students "Kaal kitni prakaar kay hotey hain?"
Singh replied, "Kaal five type kay hote : Bhoot Kaal, Vertaman Kaal, Bhavishyat
Kaal, Trunk Call aur Sat Sri Akal."
Question : "Why doesn't Mrs. Advani use Dalda for cooking her meals?"
"Because her husband prefers Rath."
A mother was reprimanding her son for having stolen a pencil from school. The
father of the family intervened,
"Beta, you must not steal at school, if you
need anything in the way of stationary, I can always get it for you from the
Said a lady to her friend, "When we get our divorce we divided everything we had
equally between us. Two children stayed with me, two went to my ex-husband.
"What happened to the property?" asked a friend. "That was shared equally
between his lawyer and mine."
An Indian politician returned home after his first visit to England. Pressman
surrounded him and asked him what it was that he had been impressed with most
about the English people.
"They are a very gifted race," replied the politician.
"Even a two-year-old child can speak English."
A young lady went to a hospital and told the receptionist that she wished to see
an upturn. "You mean an intern, don't you dear?" asked the kindly nurse.
whatever you call it, I want a contamination," replied the girl. "You mean
examination," corrected the nurse. "May be so," allowed the girl. "I want to go
to the Fraternity ward."
"Maternity ward," said the nurse with a slight smile.
"Look," insisted the girl, "I don't know much about big words, but I do know that
I haven't demonstrated for two months, and I think I am stagnant.
In the corridor of a government office there was a sign-board reading "Don't
make a noise." Someone added the following words: "Otherwise we may wake up."
After Rekha married Mukesh Agarwal, her chief rival in the film industry,
Sridevi, was eager to outdo her.
She recieved a proposal from a handsome
business maganate of the name of Mr. Lal. Sridevi turned down the proposal
without bothering to even look at the man.
When asked the reason why she had
done so, she replied, "I don't wish to be known as Sri Devi Lal."
A rich man on his death bed asked his wife to bury him without any clothes on.
"I know which way I am going," he explained. "I won't need clothes up there!"
When he passed away, his wife kept her promise. A few days later, the man's
ghost appeared through the window and said, "Get out my winter underwear and my
tweed coat, darling.
There are so many rich people in Hell now, they have
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer
and a Microsoft engineer.
Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road,
and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.
electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and
trying to trace where a fault might have occurred.
The chemical engineer, not
knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and
getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about
anything, comes up with a suggestion, "Why don't we close all the windows, get
out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it'll work !?"
AsliMasti Jokes Archive
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