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AsliMasti
Selected AsliMasti Jokes
1)
A boss tells his new employee, "I'll give you 8 bucks an hour starting today and
in three months, I'll raise it to 10 bucks an hour. So when would you like to
start?'' ''In 3 months.''
2)
Q ) What's the most famous coffee in Afghanistan?
Ans ) Osama bin Latte.
3)
Some say George W. Bush quit drinking because of this incident... Back in his
party days, Dubya got behind the wheel after a few too many.
He started the car
and stepped on the gas. He was driving for a while, when suddenly a white ghost
face appeared in the window.
George saw it and began screaming. He stepped on
the gas harder, but the face floated right in the window.
George floored it -
the speedometer read 110mph but the face did not disappear. A white hands
gestured for him to roll down the window.
Not knowing what else to do, he rolled
it down slowly. The wrinkled old face smiled and said, "Do you want help getting
out of the mud?"
4)
A family was having some people to dinner. At the table,
the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said,
"Dear, would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," replied the little girl,
shyly. "Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie," the
woman said.
Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and
solemnly said, "Dear Lord, why the hell did I invite all
these people to dinner!?!
5)
After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment,
my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight
siblings and me -- all under age 11.
Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of
us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our
entourage in disbelief, ''Ma'am,'' he said, ''do all these children and this
luggage belong to you?''
''Yes, sir,'' my mother said with a sigh, ''they're all
mine.'' The customs agent began his interrogation: ''Ma'am, do you have any
weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?''
''Sir,'' she calmly
answered, ''if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now.''
6)
Did you know they are taking out all the K-Marts in Afghanistan? They are
putting in TARGETS!!!
7)
Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the
fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely
asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"
"My goldfish died," replied Tim
tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was
concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Tim patted
down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your
stupid cat."
8)
There is this good Old barber in some city in US. One day a florist goes to him
for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:
'I am Sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community
Service'.
Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the Barber
goes to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a dozen roses waiting at
his door.
A Cop goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the Barber he again
refuses to take the money. The Cop is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning
when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a dozen
Donuts waiting at his door.
An Indian Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he
also goes to pay the Barber again refuses the money saying that it was a
Community service.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess
what he finds there, a Dozen of Indian Software engineers waiting for a free
haircut......
9)
For a test of his own fortitude the magician brought the biggest,
strongest-looking man up on stage to assist him.
He handed the man a rubber
mallet and told him, "When I put my head down on this block, hit me as hard as
you can. Don't worry, it won't effect me at all."
The man says, "Okay." The
magician put his head down and said, "Go ahead." Ten years later, the magician
woke up in a hospital from a coma and yelled, "Ta-Da!"
10)
The IB, CBI and the Delhi Police are all trying to prove that they are the best
at apprehending criminals. The PM decides to give them a test.
He releases a
rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch. The IB goes in. They place
animal informants throughout the forest.
They question all plant and mineral
witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that
rabbits do not exist.
The CBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn
the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no
apologies.
The rabbit had it coming. The Delhi Police goes in. They come out two
hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a
rabbit! I'm a rabbit!
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