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AsliMasti
Selected AsliMasti Jokes
1)
A policeman pulled a Surd over after he had been driving the wrong way on a
one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Surd : No, but wherever
it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving.
2)
A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall,
closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam."
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
"I mean," she whispers, "I would do anything." He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
"Anything." His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... study?"
3)
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would
do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did. Somebody got angry about
this, because it was Everybody's job.
Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but
Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed
Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done!
4)
A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he
waited anxiously for the outcome.
The employer read all his applications and
said, "We have an opening for people like you." "Oh, great," he said, "What is
it?" "It's called the door!"
5)
Lehna Singh was taking a stroll on a moonlit night when he saw a man searching
for something on the ground. “Hey, what are you looking for?”
“My ring, Sir, “he
replied. “Did you loose it here?” “No, Sir, over there, under that tree. But it
is brighter here so I am looking for it here.”
6)
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his
said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles."
"She
did," he replied. "But where in the hell was I gonna find a fake Jeep?"
7)
Herolal is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway, when he spots Bhola standing
in the middle of a huge field of grass.
He pulls the car over to the side of the
road and notices that Bhola is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at
nothing.
Herolal gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Bhola and asks
him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" Bhola replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel
Prize." "How?" asks Herolal, puzzled. "Well I heard they give the Noble Prize to
people who are out standing in their field."
8)
A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and
said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are?
He kisses her every time
they meet. Why don't you do that? "I would love to." replied the husband, "but I
don't know her well enough."
9)
A woman was complaining to the neighbor that her husband always came home late,
no matter how she tried to stop him.
"Take my advice," said the neighbor, "and
do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and
from my bed I called out: 'Is that you, Jim?'
And that cured him." "Cured him!"
asked the woman, "but how?" The neighbor said, "You see, his name is Bill."
10)
Hubby: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Wife: When
there is a problem, no matter how insurmountable, I look at your picture and the
problem disappears.
Hubby: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you.
Wife: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, 'What other problem can there
be greater than this one?'
AsliMasti Jokes Archive
(stuff@aslimasti.com)
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