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AsliMasti
Selected AsliMasti Jokes
1)
Ramesh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge
asked him if he had anything to say in his defence.
"They should nto put up such
misleading notices,"said Ramesh ." It said , FINE FOR PARKING HERE."
2)
Mannoo owned a large factory. He issued orders that only married men would be
employed.
When his friend Pannoo asked him the reason, Mannoo replied, 'Married
men are more obedient.'
3)
The collector asked Mannoo for his rail ticket. Mannoo searched his pockets but
could not find it. 'Never mind,' reassured the collector, ' I will take your
word that you bought your ticket.' 'That is very kind of you,' replied Mannoo,
'but if I don't find it, I want to know where to get off.'
4)
Once two drunk men get out of a bar. After sometime one of them come running and
ask the bartender to help him take out his friend who had fallen into an open
drain.
The bartender asks him, 'How deep has he fallen?' The man replies ,'Knee
high!' The bar tender replies, 'Then what is the problem, he can get out
himself.' The man replies, 'No no! You don't understand, he has fallen upside
down…'
5)
Once upon a time a Pappu was exercising in the park. He saw two person were
working. One was digging the ground and the other was filling up the hole.
Pappu
was very confused by watching this, he went to the men & asked, 'What are you
doing?' One of them replied, 'We have a team of three pepole, one of us digs the
ground, the other pushes plants into the hole and third one fills-up the hole.
The guy who fixes the plants is abesnt.. but why should we stop our work??'
6)
A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The
receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."
The next day the
same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." Once
again the receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."
The
next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, "I want to
speak to my lawyer." "Excuse me sir," the receptionist says, "but this is third
time I've had to tell you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep
calling?" The guy replies, "Because I love hearing it!"
7)
Anil Kumble ki nai-nai shadi hui. Suhag raat ko Kumble ji gaye room me jaise
maidan me opponents ke chhakke chhudane pahunch jaate they.
Achanak Kumble-ji
serious ho gaye, bole "dekho hum jindagi bhar ab ek saath rahane wale hain. koi
lafada, locha ho to bata dalo".
Chokri smart thi. Usne ghoonghat uthaya aur
aankh me aankh dal ke boli "ab ye to khud hi samajhna chahiye"
Kumble-ji confuse
ho ke bole "kya samajhna chahiye". Ladki boli "Spinner ko kabhi new ball milti
hai kya ???"
8)
Two children Having noticed the brightness of the sun begun to argue about its
name. One argued that it was called an apple And the other argued that it was an
orange.
This argument turned into a hot one since there was no elderly person to
give them the correct name. Luckily for them a stranger walked by and they
decided to ask him.
The stranger gazed at the sun thoughtfully and finally, he
said " well children as you might know, I don't live around here so you can ask
the woman whose house is over there"
9)
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He
noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup.
As he watched,
the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out
the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them.
Then the old
man poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of
his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her
hands folded in her lap.
The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to
purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs. The old
gentleman said, "Oh, no. We're old.
This is plenty for us. Besides, we've been
married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared,
50/50."
The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat her share, and
she replied, "Not yet. This time he gets the first turn with the teeth."
10)
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was
giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked,
"How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top
of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"
AsliMasti Jokes Archive
(stuff@aslimasti.com)
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