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AsliMasti
Selected AsliMasti Jokes
1)
A man is talking to God and asks him: 'God, why did you make woman so
beautiful?' To which God replies: 'so that you would find them attractive.'
The
the man asks: 'God, but why did you have to make them so dumb?' To which God
replies: 'so that they would find you attractive!'
2)
The little boy was sitting on a park bench munching on one chocolate bar after
another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you
know eating all those chocolates isn't good for you.
It will give you acne, rot
your teeth, make you fat.' The boy replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107
years old.'
The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 chocolate bars at a
time?' The little boy answered, 'No, he minded his own damn business!'
3)
Once A Man Was On Vacation. He Enjoyed The Place So Much That He Could Not
Resist But Send A Telegram To He Wife Saying -- "Wish You Were Here".
When He
Reached Home, He Was Welcomed Very Dangerously. Reason? -- A Distorted Message
Saying -- "Wish You Were Her".
4)
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started
back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a
grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating,
"Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him
and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this
demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before.
For whom do you mourn
so deeply? A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself,
then replied, "My wife's first husband."
5)
Joy Bose was going by train from Delhi to Howrah. He kept getting off at every
station to buy a ticket till the next station.
When the train reached Delhi, the
Bose's co-passengers asked him why he kept buying separate tickets instead of
buying a ticket for the entire journey.
Bose replied: Humko doctor bola tha, ki
jyada lamba sofor nahin karna. Isee se hum chota chota sofor korta hoon.
6)
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are. The
first one says: 'Well, my father runs the fastest.
He can fire an arrow, and
start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow'. The second one says:
'Ha! You think that's fast!
My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be
there before the bullet'. The third one listens to the other two and shakes his
head.
He then says: 'You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil
servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45'!
7)
In Haryana's one small town one bus full of passengers was standing at a bus
stand. One old lady couldn't find any place and finally came to drivers seat and
sat.
When the driver came to drive the bus, he asked the old lady "Ma tu yehan
se uth ja mein bus challaoonga. She quickly replied mein yehan theek hun tu
kahin aur beth ke bus chala le."
8)
The physical training instructor was drilling a platoon of soldiers. "I want
every man to lie on his back, put his legs in the air and move them as though he
were riding a bicycle," he explained. "Now begin!"
After a few minutes, one of
the men stopped. "Why did you stop. Smith?" demanded the officer. "If you
please, sir," said Smith, "I'm freewheeling for a while."
9)
Mr. Sen and Mr. Singh were two good friends. Mr. Sen was thin and Mr. Singh was
fat.
Mr. Singh: “Yaar Sen, seeing you outsiders would think that there is famine
in India.
Mr. Sen: “And seeing you, they would know the cause of famine.”
10)
A major traffic jam was preventing people from moving forward. A motorist
shouted out wanting to know what was happening.
A guy from the front replied,
'Well at the traffic crossing Laloo Yadav is sprawled across the road. He is
refusing to move from there!' 'But why?'
'He has lost the elections and will now
surely be convicted for corruption and will have to pay lakhs of Rupess as
fines!
He is threatening to douse himself with kerosene and set himself on fire
if people didn't contribute with money to help him pay the fine!' 'So how much
has been collected so far?' 'Six litres!'
AsliMasti Jokes Archive
(stuff@aslimasti.com)
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