Selected AsliMasti Jokes
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot
What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division
As a old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on
Route 280. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if
my father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied Sweetly,
"I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can
there be greater than this one?
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
My Father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said
another. Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However,
if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an
empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.
"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"
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