Selected AsliMasti Jokes
'Whatever I say goes.' 'Then why don’t you talk about yourself for awhile?'
Vete: I had an operation and the doctor left a sponge in me.
Bill: Got any pain?
Pete: No, but boy do I get thirsty.
There was an earthquake recently which frightened inhabitants of a certain town.
One couple sent their little boy to stay with an uncle in another district,
explaining the reason for the nephew’s sudden visit.
A day later the parents
received this telegram, 'Am returning your boy. Send the earthquake.'
The devil challenged St. Peter to a baseball game. 'How can you win, Satan?'
asked St. Peter. 'All the famous ballplayers are up here.' 'How can I lose?'
answered Satan. 'All thee umpires are down here.'
First boy: I couldn’t learn to spell. Second boy: Why not? First boy: My teacher
always changes the words.
In a Japanese house a baby was born. It had tiny eyes, nose, ears and mouth; so
they named him Ingwingwong.
Soon a second baby was born. It also had tiny ears,
eyes, nose and mouth. They named him Chingwingwong.
Then the third was born. It
had BIG ears, eyes, nose and mouth. The parents thought for long and at last
named him Somethingwrong.
Gullu Bhai was sitting on his porch, when this man walked up with a pad and
pencil in his hand. 'What can I do for you?' Gullu politely asked.
selling something?' 'No, sir, I'm not. I'm a Census Taker.' 'A what?' 'A Census
Taker. We're trying to find out how many people there are in India.' 'You're
wasting your time here. I have no idea.'
The traffic sergeant stopped the car driver for violating traffic signals.
'Didn't you see the red light?' Growled the sergent. 'Yes i did,' replied the
driver, 'But i didn't see you.'
There was this guy who was having a party at the terrace of his building. While
looking down from the building his watch slipped and started falling down.
started running down the staircase. On the way he saw some guests coming up.
They asked him, 'Why are you running so fast?'
The guy says, 'My watch fell from
the terrace!' Guest says 'So why are you running? It must have broken by now!'
Guy replies 'No, I might get it... it's always 2 minutes late!'
Laloo was going somewhere through plane. Air hostess asks him 'Are you a
vegetarian? He replied 'nahi hum to parliamentarian hai.'
Air hostess again
asked 'nahi sir, mera matlab hai, Aap shakahari hai ya masahari???' Laloo boola
'na to hum shakahari hun na hum masahari hum to behari hun.'
- AsliMasti Jokes Archive
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