Selected AsliMasti Jokes
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man
just like father!"
Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
She thought about this, then told her
husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat
everything they say. Looking stunned, he said, "What?"
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men,
showed her a study which indicated that men use about 15,000 words a day,
whereas women use 30,000 words a day.
Sarah was reading a newspaper while her husband was engrossed in a magazine.
Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said.
classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket
to the stadium."
"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.
Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
not," he said. "How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not." "Season's more than
half over," he said.
Through a scheduling mix up, a man and a woman who have never
find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.
the train is full,
and everyone else is already asleep.
After the initial
embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep;
the woman on the top bunk, the
man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother
but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea
... let's pretend we're married."
"Why not," giggles the woman.
"Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."
This husband and wife are staying in a hotel,
and after a romantic evening wining and dining they go off to bed.
soon as they settled down, the man (not quite ready for slumber) leans over and
whispers softly, "Hey snuggle boopy boops, your lickle hubby wubby isn't quite
ready for bye-byes yet."
The wife takes the hint and says, "OK, but I have to use the bathroom first."
off she goes but on her way back she trips over a piece of carpet and lands flat
on her face.
Her husband jumps up and exclaims in a concerned tone "Oh my little honey bunny,
is your nosey-wosey all right?"
No harm is done, so she jumps into bed and they have mad passionate sex for
Afterwards, the wife goes off to the bathroom again, but on her way
she trips over the same piece of carpet and again lands flat on her face on the
Her husband looks over and grunts "Clumsy bitch."
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