4)
The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, so he went to law school. He graduated with honors, and then went home to join his father's firm.
At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father's office, and said,
"Father, father, in one day I broke the accident case that you've been working
on for ten years!"

His father responded: "You idiot, we lived on the funding of that case for ten years!"


5)
When the man in the street says: "If it Aim's broke, don't fix it," the lawyer writes: "Insofar as manifestations of functional deficiencies are agreed by any and all
concerned parties to be unperceivable, and are so stipulated, it is incumbent upon
said heretofore mentioned parties to exercise the deferment of otherwise pertinent maintenance procedures."

6)
In the USA, everything that is not prohibited by law is permitted.
In Germany, everything that is not permitted by law is prohibited.
In Russia, everything is prohibited, even if permitted by law.
In France, everything is permitted, even if prohibited by law.
In Switzerland, everything that is not prohibited by law is obligatory.

7)
A woman and her little girl were visitng the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On
their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"

"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"

"The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"


8)
A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he
passed sulfurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a
lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.

"That's unfair !" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to
spend it with a beautiful woman."

The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant does not answer.

The Godfather asks again, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you."

The Godfather says, "Well ask him where my damn money is!" The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is.

The accountant signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."

The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn't know what you are talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a 9 millimeter pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again where my damn money is!"

The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!"

The accountant signs back, "OK! OK! OK! The money is hidden in a brown suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!"

The Godfather says, "Well....what did he say?"